Tunisians find alternatives to costly traditional weddings

2008-08-29

Tunisians love traditional weddings, but some couples prefer to wed at the city hall and save their money for the future.

By Jamel Arfaoui for Magharebia in Tunis – 29/08/08

[Jamel Arfaoui] A Tunisian bride collects gifts as part of the wedding ceremony.

Marriage has turned into an industry in Tunisia, with many companies charging families thousands of dinars to organise weddings, and even the honeymoon. Even those who choose to plan weddings themselves run into costly traditions.

Southern Tunisia and the coastal areas, especially Djerba Island, are the most expensive places to get married, since the bride's family requires the fiancé to provide a generous dowry.

The least expensive marriages are among the "sons and daughters of Sidi Bachir" in northern Tunisia, where it is banned to impose a dowry of more than 69 malims. But that's not the whole story.

"Apparently, the dowry is in the malims, but the requests of the bride's family for the wedding are usually exaggerated," said Mounira Bejaoui. "The groom is required to bring the dinner, including a fatted calf."

In Sidi El Bachir, traditions require that the groom's family brings the food in a festive manner. The food caravan should be accompanied by musicians playing popular music. That marks the Aqira day.

One other tradition involves gifts given to the bride-to-be. The groom's family brings the gifts to the girl's house before the wedding to show them off. The gifts then have to go back to the groom's house until the day of the wedding, when they are finally given to the bride.

The wedding celebrations continue for a whole week, during which both families receive guests and offer them the most delicious foods and sweets.

On the day preceding the wedding, the bride sits among women and has them beautify her with henna. In the meantime, guests place money on a silver plate. That day is called Outiyya.

In the Kala Kebira area, Mahdia or Djerba, the groom's family is required to bring gold to please the bride's family. In return, the bride's family supplies their daughter with all the needs of matrimonial residence, like furniture, cooking utensils and linen.

Mohamed Bousnina, a resident of Kala Kebira area, was in a wedding party recently. He said that the groom told him that he had to bring 7,000 dinars worth of gifts to the bride to please his own mother, and make the family look good.

Hana ben Jeddou said that one of her relatives had to give an ownership contract for half of his agricultural land as dowry to his bride because he failed to bring the required quantity of gold.

She believes that impossible conditions placed by parents make it difficult for young people to get married.

In order to avoid the costs of the wedding celebration, a significant sector of youth started to opt for the "modern" marriage. The marriage rites are conducted at the municipality building of the town, where the couple signs the marriage contract in the presence of family and friends. After that, the bride and groom go directly to a hotel or the matrimonial residence.

"Marriage at the municipality building relieves you of headache and extra expenses," said Mounir ben Hmed, who got married at city hall.

"I advise young people who hesitate to get married to distance themselves as much as possible from the old habits, which only create huge amounts of debt."