Moroccans wait for marriage, but keep ceremonies traditional
2007-06-01
Moroccan women are waiting longer to marry, but when they do tie the knot they do it with all the pomp and circumstance of yesteryear.
By Sarah Touahri for Magharebia in Rabat – 01/06/2007
 [Sarah Touahri] Moroccan brides often change their clothing several times during the wedding celebration. |
For many Moroccan women, marriage remains a necessity, even if it comes later in life. Society has seen a great deal of change in recent decades, with improved education having perhaps the most profound impact on the deferral of marriage. The average marrying age of women has risen from 17 in 1960 to 27, according to the High Commission for Planning and Statistics (HCP). But many of the most modern women eventually submit to tradition.
Sociologist Jamila Baadi told Magharebia that in Morocco, as in other Arab countries, marriage may no longer be the top priority for women, but it remains a necessity. "The Moroccan mindset has changed... over the past three decades. Families no longer feel the need to marry off their daughters as soon as possible, preferring to send them to school first, so that they can be educated and financially independent," said Baadi.
However, while society’s views on marriage have changed, women still face great pressure from society when they reach their thirties. Jalila Arafaoui, a bank clerk, married two years ago at the age of thirty-five. She was enjoying success in her professional life and thought that nothing could stop her from having fun and making a life for herself. "But when I turned thirty, the way my neighbours and family looked at me became irritating. My parents asked me every day if anyone wanted to marry me. Because of the pressure they put me under, I accepted the first offer that came my way, and suffered the consequences," Arafaoui said, adding that she got divorced after four years.
Many women like Jalila feel this pressure as they approach their thirties. Samira Sefrioui, a teacher, suffers daily because she is 38 and still unmarried. Although she is financially independent, she is still receives hurtful comments from all sides. "I can’t stand the pitying way my close relatives look at me. It makes me ill at ease, even though the fact I’m not married is a personal decision I took some years ago, to have a quiet life," she explained.
But while Samira has deliberately chosen to remain single, other young women suffer because they have been unable to find the ideal husband. Baadi explained that some young women who have achieved a high level of education begin looking for a husband with the same level of university qualifications. But as time goes by, they realise that they have spent the best years of their life searching and not finding anyone. "That is the moment when they feel social and cultural pressure from those around them," Baadi said.
Khadija R., a doctor, is a perfect example: at forty years old, she is still not married. A few years ago she wanted to marry a surgeon, but as time went on her demands became less specific. "For now, I no longer have that requirement. I simply want a respectable husband so that I can have a child before reaching menopause. I regret having spent my life looking for a tailor-made husband," she says with frustration.
Even the most modern women submit to tradition and celebrate their marriages according to ancient tradition. "The young bride, whether educated or illiterate, always aspires to observe the special rituals of the marriage ceremony," said Baadi.
It is almost impossible for the young bride to refuse the mahr [a financial gift from the husband to the wife]. The mahr is obligatory under Islam, but is normally only a symbolic amount. In Morocco, however, it represents the woman’s value in the eyes of her future husband. There are very few women today who would put up with a symbolic mahr. Asmae Bekkali, a 24-year-old student, just broke up with her fiancé because of the mahr. "To me, it’s symbolic, and it’s love which counts. But for my family, where I’m the only daughter, my future husband must express my value," said Bekkali. "I cannot change their minds. My fiancé had the means, but as a matter of principle he refused to give me a mahr which would satisfy my parents’ aspirations," she continued.
 [khaoula.com] |
Other traditions and rituals are equally important. The marriage celebration has an atmosphere of its own, beginning with the hammam [or Turkish bath], which the bride visits with her closest female relatives. On the eve of the wedding she attends a henna ceremony, in the presence of women from both families. The groom's gifts to the bride are displayed for the guests amidst great festivities, singing and dancing. On the big day, the bride is presented to the guests in her best finery. A professional co-ordinator called the neggafa paints on the bride's henna and takes meticulous care of her appearance and wardrobe, which changes several times throughout the ceremony.
Saida Tounoussi is a neggafa. She learned the trade secrets from her grandmother, and has spent the past ten years preparing brides for their wedding day. "It’s a captivating profession which I’ve no doubt will always be profitable. Certainly, my income is only predictable in the summer, when a lot of marriages are celebrated. But I manage to make a living," she declared. In her shop in Temara, a young woman is busy looking through a photograph album to choose the traditional costumes she would like to wear for her wedding. "Without a neggafa, I wouldn’t consider myself to be properly married. Like all girls, I want to be the most beautiful woman at my marriage ceremony. And that’s where Saida will help me," the young lady said happily.
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Toufik Posted 2007-06-03
I have never been able to understand why, like in Algeria, brides have to show off changing to a new attire every 1/2 hour or so. The bride can come from a modest family but they will spend a lot of money to acquire those costumes (up to 10 i believe), that can vary from the traditional local outfit to the ... Indian sari! I wonder where the tradition comes from. In my view, it is ridiculous when you think that a few months later there is a 30% chance bride and groom will go separate ways.
matata Posted 2007-06-05
I am an African from the Ivory Coast. I have the same point of view as those who respect traditional marriage ceremonies. The dream only comes true once in a lifetime. It is therefore necessary to put all your efforts forth to make it so that it is never forgotten.
hicham Posted 2007-06-06
It's difficult to marry a Moroccan woman.
ssalh jwabrre Posted 2007-06-07
I have no confidence in the young Moroccan women.
sara zitouni Posted 2007-06-19
I respect the traditions of Morocco, I like the wedding ceremony as it's varied in dishes, attires and jewels.
bushra bou Posted 2007-06-23
its nice to keep the traditional morrocan weeding because thats what give the taste and make it different than other marriges and because im a wedding planner i did a lot wedding for different nationality and i relaise that they like our tradition morrocan in marrige and i make it for vip cleinte in dubai and i add new touch but as morrocan design . ive a lot to say from my experience in this busness,but ill say its nice to progress and look for new design or new arrangement ,new idea but keep the tradition because thats whats make the thing different. if any body ve any question ,pls e_mail me .
nadia Posted 2007-06-25
I approve of wedding traditions in Morocco, as they haven't disappeared like other traditions. That's why we should stick to them.
mahmoudoukaly Posted 2007-07-04
To tell you the truth, I do not trust girls or boys- they're all opportunists. It has become very difficult to find a respectful woman or man, I am facing this dilemma myself, I want to marry but I am afraid to marry someone who will cause me problems.
aziz Posted 2007-07-05
The Moroccan wedding is nice in all its aspects, but the problem is with the brides of this era- they're thirsty for money.
خديجة Posted 2007-07-07
Salam Alaikoum, every woman wishes to marry once in her life time, that's why she's keen to make these three days the most beautiful in her life. In my opinion, every bride should celebrate her wedding. Personally, I was deprived of that great pleasure. Though I'm married, whenever I hear a wedding celebration, I feel sad and wish I had lived such great moments. The bride feels as if she were the most beautiful and luckiest woman...
moha Posted 2007-07-10
To this day, marriage is generally thought of as being the most important decision that both the man and woman can make. Because of this, the whole affair is expensive and elaborate.
moha Posted 2007-07-10
The Imilchil Moussem/Wedding Fair Once a year the people of the various mountain tribes in the Atlas Mountains converge at a special meeting place for the Imilchil Moussem. This special meeting which takes place in September is primarily a massive souk where all Berbers gather to sell and trade their possessions. it is the place of the largest wedding fair in the country. . After Morocco claimed independence, berbers encouraged the continuation of the festival. very few of the marriages here are prearranged. The woman arrive in ceremonial garb and they spend time flirting and getting to know the available men during the festivities and dances. Then, near the end of the celebration, the marriage ceremonies begin and several new marriages are made simultaneously. This ceremony has, in more recent times, received a lot of tourist attention which has detracted from the ceremonies authenticity. However, the joyous occasion continues down to this day and the exact date of the festival can be obtained from the tourist board should you wish to be a part of it.
احمد Posted 2007-07-31
Really the wedding is nice in Morocco...That's why I hope that my future wife will be Moroccan.
تايب احمدعبدالعليم Posted 2007-08-03
I ask God the Almighty to grant success to everyone for the good and welfare. Of course God bless the women of Morocco. God is Great, [they have] beauty, morals, and religion, and this is all that can be wished for marriage, I ask God that my wife will be from Morocco.
عزة Posted 2007-08-29
Frankly the Moroccan wedding is incomparable as to its requirements. Hospitality, the authentic Moroccan dishes, the traditional attire and they differ from region to region. Thanks to God, it's admired by everyone whether Arabs or people from any part of the world.
نجوى Posted 2007-09-13
I’m very proud of being a pure Moroccan and I love the traditions of Moroccan weddings and wish long life to all the brides and grooms of 2007 and wish the same for everyone inchallah. I am Moroccan, and I will keep the flag of my country up with the will of those who agree and against the will of those who refuse. Thank you my brothers.
sanaa Posted 2007-09-18
Everyone in this world is wishing to see his children, time passes.
كريمة Posted 2007-11-27
Morocco, in my opinion, is one of the few countries which are still preserving their traditions in spite of the different cultures and races. It's one of States which can be described as 100% Muslim. I love Morocco and the traditions of Morocco even if some people of Morocco or foreigners damage it by introducing things that aren't fit for this authentic society.
عايض Posted 2007-12-11
With my respects to the honourable and respectable. There are some Moroccan women in the Gulf and other places working in prostitution...???
طارق حرب Posted 2008-01-25
I’m an Iraqi teacher of a Swedish citizenship. I agree with the cheerful festivities of marriage. They reflect an abidance by old Islamic traditions because Morocco wasn’t subject to Persian or Turkish Ottoman colonization, it has therefore preserved its original traditions. The Moroccan girl has the complex of holding on to religion to the point of radicalism because of poverty and bad social conditions. Therefore, many conservative families are sticking more to religion to preserve honour and chastity far from the unjust and bad reputation against Moroccan girls. They’re well-educated and their abidance to religion is the result of old traditions since the eras of the State of Andalusia which fell in 1492 by Banu Al Ahmar. Still, love remains the basis between the spouses to make any festivity that won’t damage their financial position like the Indians who usually pay the debt which took all their life because they spent a lot of money in the wedding, and this ruins the marital life. I advise new families in Morocco to focus on love firstly then a wedding which doesn’t exhaust the wife or husband because the sublime goal of marriage is firstly publicity so that people now that this young girl married such a man and secondly , it's a completion of religion. Imam Ali said when he married after Fatima that he feared to meet God while he was single. Then comes the issue of children and this depends on the agreement of the spouses. The most important thing brothers is to preserve love after marriage, it’s not important how the wedding is celebrated, these are formalities which might spoil marriage and not consolidate its pillars. I hope that all women in Morocco find a suitable husband and care first and foremost. Congratulations to all.
ساري القحطاني Posted 2008-05-14
I am an admirer of the values, culture and beauty of Moroccan girls.
saad Posted 2008-06-10
I am Palestinian and I've been in Morocco recently and in a moroccan weeding it's just Fabulous.I love the moroccan culture their Andalousian roots their generosity when i was here i was like in my home they are simply great and heart-kinded.the tradition is very important there. And I would like to add that the beauty of moroccan girls is amazing they are very beautiful sensual attractive and well-educated it's very injust the bad reputation they have in the golf it's a great pity! I hope now to marry a moroccan woman!!
salma Posted 2008-06-21
I’m very proud of being a pure Moroccan and I love the traditions of Moroccan weddings and wish long life to all the brides and grooms of 2008 and wish the same for everyone inchallah. I am Moroccan, and I will keep the flag of my country up with the will of those who agree and against the will of those who refuse. Thank you my brothers.me too i am looking forward to meeting the suitable man to get married if you lnow somebody nice for me you can writ to me (bye the way i am 30years old beatuful and educated ) . good luck to every body
masud Posted 2008-06-22
i have been chating , talking over phone, with one moroccan girl almost 2 years . i want to marry her and would like to know what necesary papers i need beore i get there to marry her that which i willbe needed later on for her visa .i m living in canada .informative suggestions in this regards are most welcome.
حنان Posted 2008-06-26
Peace and mercy of God be upon you. God bless you. I want to ask you, may God reward you, what are the procedures for marriage in Morocco, especially if the bride is Moroccan and the groom is Palestinian? I want to know what the necessary documents and conditions for such a marriage. God bless you.
adeeb galal mohamed reda Posted 2008-10-12
i have very nice wife, she is from morocco
wadih Posted 2008-11-03
hi everybody Iam wadih I am lebanese and I also love morocco this country is very special and the tradition is wonderful especially their wedding it's just waw!!!! I have been here for work and at this moment I have met the woman of my life she is moroccan and we are married for 4 years now.I love this country because of peace between muslim christians and jews I love the food which is for me, after the lebanese of course,the best in the world!I love andalusian music,the beauty of women,the simplicity of people there it's just a wonderful country with a wonderful history!and above all their solidarity with palestinian lebanese and iraqui people who stays in their hearts! we love you morocco. from lebanon.
moun Posted 2009-01-01
I am Moroccan. I am engaged to a Lebanese man. I adore my country, its tradition and modernity!!! My marriage will be in Morocco, that is for sure! :)
حسن Posted 2009-01-10
We are now experiencing hard times for the nation of Mohamed, peace and prayer of God be upon him. Our just should be equal to our catastrophes. Excess in joy while the sons of the nation are being killed in Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan, this reflects a nonchalance of the catastrophes of Muslims. The true Muslim feels the concerns and pains of the nations. The messenger, peace and prayer be upon him, said “The most blessed women are those who have the least supplies”. The economic conditions are well-known for everyone. So should a man steal in order to marry or is marriage showing-off and arrogance? All these are acts of Satan. We ask God guidance and success.
hamid Posted 2009-01-29
Hi. I want a girl. She must be veiled and smart.
ProgressistheKey Posted 2009-02-26
Salam everybody, I will write this comment in english since I have noticed many of the commentators are not of moroccan origins. I believe holding to the authenticity of our traditions and our islamic values will certainly promote a society that is "hopefully" not corrupt. We are facing a rapid and gigantic economic development in our country, wich will undeniably lead us to meet many socio-strategic choices. I hope we will be rich, BUT keep strong hold to our oriental values. Salam always
youssefarazan Posted 2009-03-11
Salam alikum. I will write this comment in English because I noticed that many of the authors of comments are not of Moroccan origins. I believe that holding to the authenticity of our traditions and Islamic values will encourage of course a society which “We hope” won’t be corrupt. We are facing a quick and great development in our country which will lead us to be loyal to many social-strategic choices. We hope to be rich but by sticking to the strength of our eastern values. My greetings forever.
wafae Posted 2009-06-11
I am a Moroccan girl. I want the world to know that Moroccan girls are the most honourable girls in the world.
mohamed Posted 2009-07-11
I am looking for a wife.
منية محمد Posted 2009-07-15
Salam alikum. Who says that Moroccan women have a bad reputation in the Gulf? Let him, thanked, ask just one woman what is the way which she has followed in order to reach that situation?Who is the first encourager in spreading corruption? By God, is there a girl from the country of authenticity, the country of values and traditions who gives herself to the first comer? Would she sell her honour and dignity in the market of prostitution? Whom of us doesn't want to live with dignity, have a husband to protect her from the disloyalty of people and society? Whom of us doesn't want to be in the same rank as the one she was raised to and in which she has lived before? There is no single girl on earth who accepts to live like cattle. God honoured woman and gave her what He didn't give to men!! He gave her many things..It is known that there is a shortage of job offers in Morocco. There are families made up of a father, a mother and daughters without brothers. So who will provide for the family? To you who say that Moroccan women have a bad reputation in the Gulf, who made her like this? By God, ask yourself that question and try to reply on behalf of one of them. Then you will know that the Moroccan women was endowed by God with many gifts. No one equals her in her beauty, femininity, knowledge, values and everything. However, she has become for that reason targeted. Of course as a result of the lack of jobs, she thinks of increasing the income of the family. She thinks of immigration and a job contract. But when she gets to the work location, she is surprised by a different reality. She should either accept it and sign papers the purport of which she ignores or she has to pay money to reimburse her debts to the employer, the person who takes her to the Gulf, or she will go to prison!!! Ask about conditions and causes! Instead of busying yourselves with the Moroccan woman, the Moroccan did this and this, she is a witch, she steals men, she is corrupt, consider how to solve the problem of corruption and how to avoid this. Honestly, the real nest of corruption is the Gulf. Since you accept this in your country, you are encouraging it. So many women went to work hard for a living but you exploited them in depravity. Isn't this the truth? In general, close your doors, consider your women, give them value and the world will get rid of depravity and those who encourage it. As to woman, it is known she is powerless. If there is a Moroccan woman who is acting with depravity in the Gulf, this is because there is a hidden force behind this. May God protect all Muslim girls. Those who abuse of their honour will be judged on the Day of Judgment, so beware of injustice and defaming others! Thank you.
Fière d'être Marocaine Posted 2009-08-27
Thank you for your comment, Miss Monia. You are completely, 100% right. I have nothing to add. Long live Morocco and the Moroccans! May God protect us!!! Happy Ramadan, everyone!
خديجة Posted 2009-09-09
Moroccan girls are the most honourable girls in the world.
ام اسلام Posted 2009-09-12
Discussions dedicate to women. If anyone has a personal problem, we help her and try to solve her problems. The most important problem concerns unmarried women, fear, doubt, concerns about virginity, how can the girl be sure she is virgin or not? What are necessary mixture to narrow it, the way of sewing and reforming it, specialist clinics in this and whether it is easy. Your sister Um Eslam, doctor and gynaecologist.
vvvTTTvvv00 Posted 2009-09-27
macha allah sister منية محمد you are the best and incha allah i prays to allah to give me a wife like you incha allah. you is 100000% right talkings about moroccan womans and how they are exploited in Gulf specially in Saudia and UAE emirates. these gulf rich peoples comes to morocco universityies and schools and collect all the smart intelligent womans and promise to give them a very good job in gulf. but when they goes to gulf, they are sold in hands of other men. so they buys them for sex. so a womans gets in the hands of many many men in gulf because she is sold from owner to another. and then moroccan womans get a bad name. allah will punish those gulf peoples incha allah
abdelnasir Posted 2009-09-28
am sudanes working with al-shamery audotor accountant at sadia arabai
said Posted 22 days ago
Excellent!
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